Ugly day, Ugly mood.

I work a lot. A lot, for someone who is considered part-time.
I work a lot, and get paid little.
I work a lot, and I work late at night.
I work late at night, and the dinner I eat is unhealthy because I go to bed right after.
I sleep, I shower, I eat lunch, and then I do it all over again.

This isn't the life I want at nineteen.
I don't want to be annoyed with my dirty, messy house because I never have time to clean.
I don't want to be annoyed with my guy because our schedules aren't even close to synced.
I don't want to be annoyed with myself because when I'm not working, I'm thinking about the mistakes I made while I was working.

But damnit, I am annoyed.
And I want to be my age.
And I want to go to school, where my hard work is acknowledged.
And I want to celebrate the weekend.
And I want to go dancing, to movies, to concerts, to dinner - without thinking about how much it costs.

Though my mind has always felt at thirty, I'm starting to realize that I am the age I am, and that I desperately need to start appreciating my youth.